Tuesday, September 30, 2008

tight person of the day: willie hutch

I almost forgot about this song until it came on my iPod while I folded laundry. Thank G for iPods! You have no idea how badly I want to be a back-up singer in this song. I mean, I have dreams of being a back-up singer for any soul singer period. But being featured on this song would be super tight!

Willie Hutch was raised in Dallas (RUH ROH) and got out of there fast to become a marvelous singer and musician. He was super funky but also soulful and tender. Willie was a big part of Motown in the seventies, which automatically gives you extreme baller status. He produced several hits and even wrote "I'll Be There" made famous by the Jackson 5. Sometime when we are having some medicine together, ask me to do the J-5 dance for you. I might oblige.

Willie passed pretty recently, in 2005. But I know he's in the great gig in the sky partying and making more soul for me to listen to when I get there (HOPEFULLY). This song is tight because the beginning is so weird and beautiful. I mean, what is up with that sweet flute? And the song talking! My favorite thing. I demand every song feature song talking. Nothing is better. Except spaghetti and meatball cupcakes.

Willie Hutch - Brother's Gonna Work It Out

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Sunday, September 28, 2008

One 4 the Ladies: Older Dudes I'm Crunching On

I have no idea what inspired this post, but there are some older actors that I'm crushing on. I think that we have a supportive community that allows me to share such things. Let's discuss.

Sam Elliot

If you don't think this man is good lookin', then you probably don't have a pulse. AM I RIGHT LADIES? I think we can all agree here.

John Mahoney

I can't really explain this one, but I love Frasier's dad. I feel like if I saw old pictures of him in the service, he would've been a lady killer. He's good in Dan In Real Life. Not like I've seen that movie. Twice.

Mikhail Baryshnikov

This one is a shout out for all the moms out there who knew what they were talking about. Baryshnikov is a good looking fella. And the amazing part is that he still seems extremely manly, despite the tights and ballet shoes. But of course he was kind of a jerk to Carrie. Lolz.

Ed Harris

Another one for the moms. But they got it right. He's a looker.

Victor Garber

I can't really explain this one either, but I'm semi-obsessed with this guy. I get mad every single time I watch Legally Blonde because of the part where he hits on Elle and she turns him down. WHAT AN IDIOT.

Okay, you ladies can add your own. Or tell me that I need a life. Both are acceptable.


In the early '80's, there was a great band called Change. There were 4,300,09948,484 members of this group, but that's beside the point.

The point is that you really need to jam to this song. If the guitar in the intro doesn't get you swaying, NOTHING WILL. Also, watch out for some sweet brass in the middle. This song is for some slow driving on a nice afternoon. Of course, I don't have a car, so drive one for me.

Change - Your Move

cupcake surprise!

Look what we did! We actually made those spaghetti and meatball cupcakes that I wrote about previously. I am proud to say we pulled it off. I don't know if these are super tight, but I want all to appreciate the effort that went into them, including Lesley having a frosting hand. Don't those meatballs look real?

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Wednesday, September 24, 2008

tight person of the day: syl johnson

Sometimes Google image searches make my life complete. I love this photo of Syl Johnson. Yeah, he's practically a baby in it, but who cares? It's so tight. So I'm not going to show you another one. Syl is one of the tighest humans alive. He is a blues and soul singer that really pours it into a song. When I listen to him sing, I am inspired to start volunteer work to clean up the streetz. I mean, I usually tend to just listen to the next song on the playlist and continue sitting at my computer. But if I ever want to really get serious about not filling my free time with soul music and the internet, I will listen to Syl Johnson to get me going.

Syl has had a long and awesome career, one of the highlights being recording for Twinight records, which hosts some of the best music I've ever heard in my life. He also owns a fish restaurant! No joke. This guy rules. I hope you take this opportunity to look into Syl a little more and listen to the way he really cries on his records. This song was recorded in 1970, during Syl's period of singing quite a bit about social issues. Bottom line: it's a classic.

Syl Johnson - Concrete Reservation

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Tuesday, September 23, 2008

made in china

I'm all about buying generic or even off-brand bad, but dang! Some of these items are just pure rip-offs. These are actual items that are sold on the streets in China. Of course, some of these are meant to resemble other products. Some are also made of pure fail. We have eyeballs, China! I can tell that you changed one of the letters in the product name.

Oh well, at least I can get some laughs out of it. Narrowly escaping copyright laws is so tight! And I'll know what I'm getting into when I pick up a bottle of Ozarga water in China.

This cracks me up because I'm the anxious, paranoid person in the store that can't wait to leave because of the all the crying children I could potentially take out with my basket because they are in my way. LONG SENTENCE ALERT. In that stressful sitch, I would be the one to just grab the blue and white bottle off the shelf thinking it was Head and Shoulders. Shock of the century when you get home! Tight name, though.

Kentucky Long Grand? Kentucky Lightning Goober? Kentucky Loves Grandmas? I could go on all day. Um, second of all, what the f is wrong with that chicken? It's like a chicken and Colonel Sanders had too much medicine and did the monkey dance. He also knows how suspicious that restaurant name is. I can see it in his eyes. Also, on closer inspection, they may have gotten closer and that might actually read KLC. But I want to believe it's KLG so give me that.

So much fail in this picture. I mean, this isn't even really close but my eye kind of thought it was at first. Sneaky rip-off Adidas bag makers! I actually LOLed looking at this picture because it's so ridiculous. I would kill to see some muscle man strutting to the gym while carrying this. How tight?

I can just see the meeting in the conference room in China. "What letter closely resembles K that we can replace on this label?" "How about R?" "Great, no one will notice!" FAIL. Although R and K might be alphabet cousins, this does nothing to persuade me I need to buy this. But I did get a huge chortle out of it. There's even a website!

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Saturday, September 20, 2008

super tight cupcakes

I have a thing for cupcakes. We are MFEO. (Made for each other.) Fortch, I live right next to a cupcake stand. I like to walk slowly by the cupcake glass counter at Whole Foods. Little works of art, they are. I love the word "cupcake" because it actually describes exactly what the item is, like toothbrush. Compound words FTW. I also love to bake them and serve them at parties. Can I get a witness from Sissy on this? I'm also counting down the days (currently at 101) until I get to eat the deliciousness that is Magnolia in New York City. Until then, my blood sugar waits.

I found this book at Target the other day. I almost bought it, but realized I needed to buy groceries and had to make Sophie's choice. It's called Hello, Cupcake! which is shockingly similar to Hey Cupcake! by mi casa. However, I wanted to share a few of the items from this book, which are guaranteed to blow your mind. I used to think making cupcakes and frosting them with one letter each to spell out "Happy Birthday" was tricky bidness. I was in for a major sike-out when I saw these.

Um, are we dead serious with these spaghetti and meatball cupcakes? The meatballs are those Ferrer Rocher hazelnut candy balls, the sauce is strawberry jelly, and the noodles are vanilla frosting squeezed through a baggie. These will either give me the runs or satisfaction. Perhaps both? Either way, my brain just exploded from how awesome they look.

I want to bring these out on a platter after a really big steak dinner and people are going to get really confused! Then I laugh! These corn on the cob cupcakes are actually made with white and yellow jelly beans and black sprinkles for the pepper. I believe the butter square is actually a yellow Starburst. I love this idea so much. There is really nothing better than fooling/harassing your dinner guests.

I wish I could find a better picture, but these are "T.V. dinner" cupcakes. Each one is like a section of a old school Swanson dinner. Peas and carrots, chicken drumstick, dessert, and mashed taters. You can't even see the taters, but they do have caramel sauce to resemble brown gravy. How much does this f with your brain? You think you are biting into a pea and carrot ball and are about to cringe in disgust and then it's really chocolate and sugar with a little bit of a crack.

Finally, the mack daddy of them all. Pizza cupcakes. Are we for reals? I would not even want to pull these apart and actually eat them because they look way too tight. The bottom sauce layer is a strawberry fruit roll-up and the cheese is grated white chocolate. I think the other toppings are just chocolate and more roll-ups. I wish Domino's would deliver this to my house in under thirty minutes. Seriously, though, that should be in the Smithsonian.

This post has proven to me that I want to try dramatic and inspirational things with cupcakes, but I would rather sit in front of my computer. I mean, let's venture a guess at how long those corn on the cob cupcakes would take? The baking part is easy, but then I need a steady shooter's hand to lay on each and every one of those jelly beans. Jesus H.! Well, maybe someday when I can tear myself away from the internetz.

tight people of the day: louis armstrong and ella fitzgerald

There are certain songs in the world that I feel like people should drop whatever they are doing to listen to. This is one of them. Ella and Louis are not only my dream grandparents, but also beautiful and magical and amazing. How smooth is Ella's voice? It's like butter all over my ciabatta roll. Louis makes me want to get in a Snuggie and sip on some tea while watching the birds.

Absolutely no one is the world sounds like Ella and absolutely no one in the world sounds like Louis. So the fact that these two got together and made albums brings me to tears. It's like sandpaper singing with Ivory soap. But it equals perfection. This song is from the 1956 album Ella and Louis, which was recorded with Buddy Rich on drums. Basically, people entering that studio should have stopped and prayed because that is like going to CHURCH. Seriously. This song was written by the Gershwins, so it totally sucks. Kidding!

I bought this album at Waterloo when I was in college and I have to say, I'm proud of myself. It's been one of the best winter albums ever. I wanted to share it with you because of the recent bit of nice weather we had that reminds me Christmas is just around the corner. Oh, I haven't mentioned I'm obsessed with Christmas? JUST WAIT.

Ella Fitzgerald and Louis Armstrong - They Can't Take That Away From Me

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Friday, September 19, 2008

tight person of the day: the old lady from defending your life

I have a movie in my top ten and it's called Defending Your Life. It's written and directed by Albert Brooks. Many people have never even heard of this movie, but I love it. I have forced many friends to watch it. Put it on your Netflix queue! Do it for me. I will thank you in happy thoughts while I drink my 32 ounces of coffee a day. Anyway, in the movie, there is an old lady that absolutely steals this scene. When Chaps and I lived together, we had many good LOLs over this lady. She emailed me this clip today and it made me really happy so I wanted to post it here to share with you.

AIDS?! (That will make sense in a minute.)

I did a little research and this baller old lady is named Maxine Elliott Hicks. She was born in 1904! She passed on the great gig in the sky in the year 2000, but I want to pour out a major one for this lady. When you are making movies in 1924 and then playing bit parts in movies until you die and just are generally tight, I have to hand it to you. TGIF!

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Wednesday, September 17, 2008

tight person of the day: william devaughn

One word: Baller. Two words: Gangsta lean. I don't even know what to say about this dude and this song except that its pure delight and awesomeness has found its way to my soul. Listening to this tune makes me feel like I do when I eat straight from a bag of semi-sweet chocolate chips in my pjs: happy. I listen to this song constantly as it is perfect for complete relaxation. I feel like people should meditate to this song. You know how they say to completely meditate you have to turn off your cell phone and music and outside sources? Screw that! I say put this on, right in your ear-hole, and see how meditation really works.

I never thought I would say this, but I first heard this song because of Ludacris and that makes me want to throw up a little. But also shake his hand. He sampled this song in his song "Diamond in the Back" but obvi the original is far superior. Basically, William was designing sewers (hello!) when he paid $900 of his own money to record this song in a studio. Are you kidding me? Well, someone with a working brain heard it and released it officially. And guess what? It sold like two mill copies. I mean, DOY! William's sound reminds me a lot of Curtis Mayfield, so I hate it. SIKE! I love Curtis like a grandfather so of course I love William.

I think I'm going to start answering people when they ask how I am with, "I'm just diggin' the scene with a gangsta lean." Is that tight?

William DeVaughn - Be Thankful For What You Got

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Tight Cover

Hey check it out. I'm actually posting.

Everyone should listen to this tight cover, Richie Havens doing Night They Drove Old Dixie Down. While Levon singing it is pretty ultimate, Richie is kind of magical. Tight. Bye bye

Richie Havens - Night They Drove Old Dixie Down

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

tight people of the day: the elgins

Heaven must have sent this group because I downloaded a Motown anthology bundle and discovered this super tight song. I am so totally obsessed with this song. I am a huge sucker for the old Motown sound. This song has received consecutive days of play in my car. I want all of South First Street to hear this group when I drive by. I also love this for its high danceable factor and the fact that I can also just sit and enjoy it while I eat peanut butter out of a can. (Believe me, I have.)

The Elgins are a Motown group that did most of their recording in the sixties. Once they added singer Saundra Edwards, things really took off. I wish that picture was a little bigger, but can't you tell how much fun they are having? I was doing a little research on this group and they only had a few 7" releases and that's pretty much it. It blows my mind how many groups like this one are out there. They all recorded happy, tight soul and then went into oblivion somewheres. Well, at least a skinny (it's my blog) white girl from Texas is enjoying them forever and ever.

The Elgins - Heaven Must Have Sent You

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Monday, September 15, 2008

tight person of the day: carl carlton

I'm going to give you a sec to process that picture before I continue. I dare someone to find me a life size cut out of this and surprise me on my quarter century birthday, when I will probably be crying in the rum candy anyway.

I'm pretty sure that Carl Carlton has never been in question as a tight person. Just his name says enough. Carl Carlton? What a badass! He was made to anchor the nightly news. Well, Carl made the best decision of his life and decided to be a singer instead. Well played, Carl Carlton.

Carl is a soul and funk singer. He was born in 1953 and I couldn't find proof of his real birth name. Perhaps this is really his name, which increases his tightness to a factor that scientists have not yet processed. You might be familiar with Carl for his hit song "She's a Bad Mama Jama" which up until about four years ago I thought was Stevie Wonder. Look, I'll own up to things. I'm happy to admit that it is indeed Carl Carlton singing, or maybe his pecs. Either way. Today, Carl provides me with endless entertainment as I Google image him and listen to this following song on my way home from work. I feel like, if I sing it loud enough, an angel gets his wings.

Carl Carlton - I Wanna Be Your Main Squeeze

ethnic kettle chips

Are you there, God? It's me, Anna. I just wanted to thank you for answering my prayers to somehow bring Kettle Chips back into my life. Okthxbai.

I have a serious love for Kettle Chips. Hello! They are delicious and scrumptious and provide togetherness at any gathering. Honestly, no bag of chips has been able to bring us closer. Well, I want to give mad props to E-Griff for this latest find. The most amazing new invention of our time. Screw multi-colored Nanos! The ethnic Kettle Chip has been bestowed upon us.

Ethnic, you ask? Well, the Kettle Chips folks have really outdone themselves. New flavors! SOMEONE PINCH ME. The packaging is also super sweet. I feel like I am about to open a secret prize box with my mystical fortune inside. Someone find where these are sold and mail me a package. I don't even care what flavor. There is even an Aztec chocolate flavor. Well, I'll be.

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sum updatez

Sorry for the lack of posting. I've been busy and then got sidelined with some ridiculous cold. But it's a pleasant 76 degrees in Austin right now, which means it's time to break out the North Face! LOL. Anyway, thoughts are with all of our friends affected by this dumb 'cane Ike. That storm can suck it! Take care of yourselves and if you need a reserve of canned black beans, come to my house. 

Tuesday, September 9, 2008

roy head: amazing legwork

I must extend great thanks to my aunt Katy for sending this to me. I love watching amazing dance moves because I really can't dance at all. Sure, I tried the basic ballet for a while and I dabbled in some street jazz. I also danced my heart out to some Coldplay songs while wearing lyrical dance shoes. However, this guy knows how to do it. I present to you a clip of the singer Roy Head singing "Treat Her Right" and showing us what it's like to have legs made of spaghetti noods. Is this guy for reals? Dang. His legs are elastic!

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Monday, September 8, 2008

just a question

Is it tight that I want Blake to do a reading of the lyrics to "Thank You" by Led Zeppelin at my future wedding? He's already been consulted and is up for the job.

If the sun refused to shine, I would still be loving you.
When mountains crumble to the sea, there will still be you and me.

Kind woman, I give you my all, Kind woman, nothing more.

Little drops of rain whisper of the pain, tears of loves lost in the days gone by.
My love is strong, with you there is no wrong,
together we shall go until we die. My, my, my.
An inspiration is what you are to me, inspiration, look... see.

And so today, my world it smiles, your hand in mine, we walk the miles,
Thanks to you it will be done, for you to me are the only one.
Happiness, no more be sad, happiness....I'm glad.
If the sun refused to shine, I would still be loving you.
When mountains crumble to the sea, there will still be you and me.

If I can't find a man, I will marry my shoe collection for this to happen. I love this song.

i'm obsessed with this TACO

I love tacos. I mean, who doesn't? Fortch for me, I live in a place that has readily available tacos on every corner. Feeling sad? Eat a taco at El Chilito. Want a pick-me-up? Head to El Soy y La Luna. Need a late afternoon snack? Cruise over to the Taco Bell. SIKE. Fooled you.

Anyway, my point today is that I have a new secret love. Well, maybe it's not so secret. I have come to love a certain food item more than any relationship I've ever had, more than any pair of shoes I have ever owned. Dare I say, more than life itself.

Yes, I'm talking about the fried avocado taco at Torchy's.

Fire walk with me, people.

This taco is the best thing I have ever had. I don't know why I waited so long to eat at Torchy's, but once I did, there was no turning back. This taco is stuffed, in a corn or flour tortilla, with fried pieces of 'cado, with pico de gallo, cheese, refried beans, and this delish poblano ranch sauce that makes me literally want to end it all. They come out piping hot and get all over me as I eat. I need a Torchy's bib. But it is so worth it. Please try this asap if you live in Austin so we can talk about it. Click the picture of my own personal heaven to read what some other folks that have brains have said about this amazing item.

Next in my obsession files: my ridiculous craving of Fage yogurt.

tight person of the day: john holt

John Holt? More like, John HOT! This guy rules. The other day I realized I wanted to go on a reggae search. So I did some blogsearch and some investigating and I found this guy. Straight out of Jamaica, John Holt is a huge b.a. I mean, just look at him.

Not only does he look awesome in that hat, John also has some pretty tight claims to fame. He wrote one of Blondie's most popular songs, "The Tide is High." Neato. The song I am sharing with you today was a huge hit in Jamaica. It's smooth and exactly what you want poolside. I can just see myself grilling pineapple and drinking a mojito while I listen to this. Summer ain't over yet! I was listening to some of John's other songs, and he's kind of a charmer. He has a lot of love songs that are sensitive and sweet. He seems pretty authentic and I like that.

John Holt - Stick By Me

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Friday, September 5, 2008

tight person of the day: nightmares on wax

So this DJ combines everything I love pretty much. He's got some pretty tight beats, some nice voice singing that soothes my soul, and ORGAN. I will listen to almost anything that has extended organ time. So when the Jonas Brothers finally release that blues/soul album, I am going to LOSE IT.

His name is George Evelyn aka DJ EASE. He is almost rocking some tiny vampire sunglasses in the pic above. He releases his music under the name "Nightmares on Wax." Basically, this dude is in the chill zone. I enjoy putting his music on while I am reading/using my Dirt Devil/moisturizing. It's just the perfect background music for almost anything. And it has ORGAN. So I want to share this song with you, and I hope you can put it to good use at some point over the weekend. TGIF!

Nightmares on Wax - Da Feelin

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Wednesday, September 3, 2008

tight person of the day: solomon burke

Solomon Burke has a knack for making me cry. I mean, this song I am sharing with you today is amazing. I want to film a dancing scene to a romantic comedy in some New York loft apartment to this song. I think you know what I mean.

Anywayz, Solomon is really tight. For one thing, he's one rare Tight Person of the Day that you could potentially still go see perform live. Another thing, he performs from a giant throne chair. Um, whoa. You can't make this stuff up. Solomon has recorded some really popular and well-known songs as well as dabbling in acting. And, hello, he has fourteen children and 90 grandchildren. I need to be revived. Just thinking about Christmas at the Burke house makes me nauseous. He must go to a High School Musical-themed birthday party every single day! He is still performing all the time though, even most recently at Bonnaroo this past summer. What a baller!

This song is so beautiful. How perfect would this be at a wedding? Or just played in my room while I drink my nightly medicine and have a good cry, nahmean? At any rate, I give this song my vote because he is singing two inches from the microphone. And FEELING it. Just like any good soul singer should.

Solomon Burke - What Am I Living For?

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