Thursday, July 30, 2009

Google Image Search of the Day

Selected Google Image search results for the word: Champion

Google Image search results for the word: Champion

My Boo/1997 Just Called

PLAY THIS AT YOUR NEXT PARTY. I promise no one will be disappointed.

This video should be retitled, "Polite Young Black People Having Fun." Seriously, this is the most reserved, white washed video ever. Just a little pizza party and hangin' out by the pool. Just an igloo cooler full of Sunny D, y'all. This was playing on your radio in 1997, sandwhiched between Foolish Games by Jewel and Can't Nobody Hold Me Down by Puff Daddy.

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

The Pioneer

I think this guy accurately captures the spirit of this blog. He is a pioneer of dance parties and is worthy of praise. There are several YouTube videos documenting dance guy's dedication to spreading joy. And perhaps drug use.

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

The Sanchez

I wonder what Tony Sanchez is up to these days.

And now that we're on the subject, I hope Raymond Lucky opened up a dance studio, because I want to sign up. I mean seriously, how sleepy/cocky is this guy?

cry baby: battle royale


Garnet Mimms is one tight homie. First of all, his name is Garnet. Which is also the name of my birthstone. We were MFEO. Garnet has dipped his toe in soul, gospel, and doo wop. He is such a baller.

In the sixties, Garnet was hanging around New York and singing in a group called Garnet Mimms and the Enchanters. A songwriting team including master Jerry Ragovoy (he wrote "Time Is On My Side" that the Rolling Stones later covered) wrote a song for Garnet to sing called "Cry Baby." This song shot up the charts and was a huge smash. I mean, he is singing with so much passion. I almost want to shout along with this so hard I start crying. Amazing. Jerry went on to write several more songs for Garnet that were successes.

Later in his life, Garnet worked in prisons as a minister. Then he returned to music. He has released albums with pretty much every kind of music. His powerful voice shall live forever.

Garnet Mimms and the Enchanters - Cry Baby

I was Janis Joplin once for Halloween when I was about twelve. How tight? I really had it down. I was definitely channeling the Pearl album in my costume - I just wasn't hold enough to hold a bottle of SoCo. Are we on the same page with this? Anyway, I had the feathers in my hair and everything. The only thing that ruined it was my enormous tortoise shell glasses and probably some kind of orthodontics. Boring.

ANYWAY, if you thought Garnet was wailing in his version, get ready for this. Janis covered "Cry Baby" for her monumental 1971 album Pearl. This was her last album and she actually died before getting to finish recording vocals for some tracks. The thing is, Janis puts every single thing she has into these songs. I can't even handle her screams of pain. That opening screech. She was a troubled soul anyway but she channels it so much with her vocals. No one like her.

Sidenote: Janis was a big fan of Jerry Ragovoy songwriting, seeing as she also covered "Get It While You Can" on this same album and "Piece of My Heart" earlier in her career.

Janis Joplin - Cry Baby

Janis definitely had a rep for singing old blues and soul songs. Most of the time now, her versions are more well known than the originals. Some people are pretty critical of this. But I don't mind too much. She made them her own with her signature vocals and I will still listen to the older versions because I just love soul. Give these a listen and see what you think.

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Monday, July 27, 2009

The Big Aristotle

The steady stream of Shaq chatter inspired me to pull out my VHS copy of Shaq Attaq: In Your Face On and Off the Court.

According to one ebayer it is currently out of print, which if true the folks over at Criterion should think about re-issuing this badboy. This mid-90's gem chronicles Shaq eating huge shrimp po-boys, dunking on people, wearing Cross Colours jump suits, and most importantly his time spent with Fu-Schnikins laying down intricate rhymes.

excerpt from Fu-Schnickens - What's Up Doc (Can We Rock) Feat. Shaquille O'Neal
I'm the hooper, the hyper
Protected by Viper
When I rock the hoop yo, you'd better decipher
In other words you'd better make a funky decision (whoo)
'cause I'm a be a Shaq knife, and cut you with precision
Forget Tony Danza, I'm the boss
When it comes to money, I'm like Dick Butkas
Now who's the first pick? me, word is born and
Not a Christean Laettner, not Alonzo Mourning
That's okay, not being braggadocios
Supercalifragelistic, Shaq is alidocious
Peace, I gotta go, I ain't no joke
Now I slam it (what?) jam it (unh)
And make sure it's broke

Here, in Shaq Attaq: In Your Face On and Off the Court, Shaq meets up with the Fu after a basketball game and heads directly to the studio. Magic ensues.

Props to the bass player.

Mad Men Yourself

To celebrate the upcoming premier of season 3, you guys need to go Mad Men yourself. I would say that the above image is a more accurate depiction of me than most photographs. It's probably that frustrated smirk that makes it authentic.

Blog contributors, edit this post and add yours in, because that would be tight. Love y'all.

EDIT BY ANNA: Does this look anything like me? I feel like I couldn't get the nose right. I kinda look 45. But that dress is tight. And I love being dressed like that for a picnic.

'Busting Makes Me Feel Good

I've decided to write my thesis on this video. Ray Parker Jr.'s song speaks to every level of me as a person. If nothing else, click to the keyboard solo at 2:58. That insane hammering of keys plus the way Ray Parker Jr. gives such a cocky shrug and says, "I ain't 'fraid of no ghosts," is what I want to see the moment before I go to the other side.

The end of the video features some celebrity cameos that make little sense, especially one of Chevy Chase swallowing a lit match and spitting out a cigarette. Someone make that into a gif please.

I've decided that you all should book your tickets to visit me in NYC and I will start a business conducting Ghostbusters tours. This is basically the best idea I've ever had.

Houston We Have A Dog

I'm pretty sure this is one of the best SNL sketches of all time. Tracy's ridiculous laughter, Cochrane's Life Is A Highway, dog memoriam photos. It's all perfect. I want to party with this sketch every day of my life.

This sketch is also very accurate commentary on every live action movie Disney has made since 1989.

santa shaq

I have no idea when this was taken or why. And it doesn't matter. Why?

That is Shaq dressed like Santa. KTHX. 

Who Invited This Guy to the Party?

Frisee is the assclown of lettuce. If you hand me a plate of this, I will assume you don't care for my friendship anymore. This jerk also tries to go by the name Endive, but it's not fooling anyone.*

If any of our readers would like to start a debate about this, I'm ready.

*I do appreciate the texture it adds to my salad but that's as far as it goes.

g.i. joe psa redux

How is it taking me this long to post about this? Several years ago, by the light of a Target lamp in my dorm room, I remember laughing out loud to this crap. It was before viral was viral, and before I could immediately post this on someone's Facebook page. I KNOW.

In the mid-eighties, there was an animated cartoon program called "G.I. Joe: A Real American Hero." I'm sure boys across America were loving the soldier action/watching and struggling with their sexuality. After every episode, a public service announcement (PSA, y'all) would appear encouraging viewers to make good choices and stay out of sticky situations. All with the help of friendly soldiers, of course. The thing is, the animation is pretty terrible. I mean, we expected it from television then, so no bigs. But someone decided to take this to the next level.

Eric Fensler and his production company from Chicago redubbed audio and re-cut these PSAs to make amazing new ones. Some of these brought me huge laughs back in the day and still can. Beware: language can be NSFW so make sure speakers are not at top volume. There are a ton of these, and you can see them here. I've posted a few of my absolute favorites. I wish I had thought of this.

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Sunday, July 26, 2009

Version 2.0


Saturday, July 25, 2009

Smokin' on the Dro

I posted this a while back [via] Twitter, but it's worth posting on here. This is the best student project ever.

will ferrell and shaq

Two giants collide in this video. Like, seriously. Will Ferrell is a huge man and so is Shaq. The fact that Shaq can scoop him like that is making me bust a gut. Honestly. Please watch this for a good laugh. Also, I want all my guy friends studying up on those Shaq dance moves immediately. 

P.S I posted this over a year ago, but the video was terrible qual. I deleted that old post and now you get a slightly better version and all the laughs. 

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

love hangover

This song was a big part of my life at a certain point. I totally love Diana Ross and I love how homegirl is totally glowing in this video. Also, please note the white suit dancer guys. Is there actual choreography happening there? I guess it don't matter when you can HIGH KICK. I'm proud to say that almost twenty years after this footage, I was sitting in that same theater watching Cher. Full circle stuff, y'all.

tight person of the day: r.b. greaves


I have always loved the song "Take A Letter Maria" but I didn't really know much about the man behind the song. I decided to read up about R.B. Greaves a little bit, and he's pretty fascinating. And obviously way tight.

Here's some crazy stuff about R.B. (REAL BALLER)

1. He grew up on a Seminole reservation.
2. He is a nephew of Sam Cooke.
3. He was born in Guyana. (Now I can't stop thinking about Jonestown, jeez.)
4. He lived in England for a while, where he was the lead singer of a group called Sonny Childe and the TNTs. How tight?

Anyway, his biggest hit was released in 1969. Although the story in the song is a bit sad, I love the horns! It's like, a mariachi/soul dance party. You really can't beat that.

R.B. Greaves - Take A Letter Maria

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Olive Garden Handsy Time

Olive Garden commercials push me over the edge, but this one really takes the cake. It's supposed to be a sweet little story about a mom and son who go to Olive Garden because dad is working late and can't be home for dinner (aka, dad is probably cheating with another woman who actually cooks real food).

Thing is, this mother and son look way too cozy. I'm pretty sure this delicious meal from the O.G. is just foreplay.

"So uhh, is Donna still in the picture?"

In that last scene in Big when Elizabeth Perkins drops T. Hanks off at his house and he turns back into baby T. Hanks, she knew that there was no Olive Garden in their future. Just let it go, y'all.

This post approved by baby T. Hanks from Big.

Was anyone aware that Penny Marshall directed Big?? I had no clue.

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Painting From Brother Joe

Here's an old familiar face. Somebody cast this guy in a Cohen brothers movie, asap.

Highlights include advice on how to hang a picture, and a search for a black marker.

Friday, July 17, 2009

the lazy chef

I want to start a new Food Network cooking show. It will be called "The Lazy Chef" and it will have a giant star...ME!* Here's the thing: sometimes cooking for one (don't pity me) is really hard. You always have a ton of left-overs that inevitably go bad and then you feel wasteful. On board with this vicious cycle yet? SO. What started me thinking about going lazy was a commercial I saw for aerosol pancakes. Seriously, pancake batter in a spray can! I mean, it really doesn't get any worse than that. How much would you judge your mom if she sprayed out your pancakes on Sunday morning? Dang. Well, get ready to judge, my future spawn!

The bigger problem here is that there is a world of lazy cooking on the internet. It is taking over! I guess people have too much to do between checking their Twitter, updating Twitter, checking Facebook, updating Facebook, uploading pictures to Twitter and Facebook, stalking people on Myspace, and getting Google Reader down to zero items. I mean, that's a lot and I didn't even include texting! Who has time to prepare gourmet meals? The internets will help us.

I love chocolate cake. Am I right, America? Well, here's a way to make a chocolate cake in the microwave in five minutes. Sound sick? Yeah, it is. Although, I would've killed to have this idea for my dorm room circa 2003.

Next up, omelettes! I spell it this way - the video has a different spelling. But I guess it's all the same at the end of the day. So the thing about omelettes is that they are super tasty. I love them. I would eat a sock omelette because I just love a marriage of eggs and cheese. The rest don't matter. However, flipping them to make them perfect is always a huge struggle for me. They end up looking like a huge puke mess and no one wants to eat that. I can't serve that to guests aka myself. So this guy shows us how to make an omelette in a Ziploc bag. I mean, I know that is a terrible idea and it does end up looking like a hot dog from far away, but I guess this is sort of tight. Sidenote: Can this be safe in any way? Honestly.

Finally, I don't want to be judged for this, but I usually make store-bought cookies. It's just usually easier for me. I'm going to be real with you, Pillsbury chocolate chip cookies taste better than anything I could mix up. And then I also don't spend twenty minutes hovered over the sink licking the bowl clean like a terrier. But this next cooking idea is taking it to the next level. It's especially relevant for all my Southern homies. BAKING COOKIES IN THE CAR. I realize that buying store bought cookies is already lazy, but it seems like baking them in the car is the next arena of laziness because you literally do not have to get an oven involved or even a real cookie sheet. Just lay them on the dashboard in your car on a paper towel, where you are probably getting in anyway to go to work. I just hope when they finish baking they don't smell like feet and Frappucinos, because that's pretty much what my auto smells like.

Someone please try one of these and report back to me. I would do it myself, but I think I might be slowing changing my mind on becoming The Lazy Chef. Mostly because all three of these examples make me want to straight-up vom.

* I really do like to cook meals, just run with this.

southern nights: battle royale


In 1975, one of the biggest ballers alive, Allen Toussaint, released a totally tight album called Southern Nights. Of course, he had been working steadily until this point writing songs and producing and making a huge impact in the New Orleans music scene. I really love this album. The title track is so sweet. It is truly perfect for a southern summer night. Apparently, Allen wrote the song thinking of all his hot summer nights spent as a kid lazing about listening to stories. Summer rules! This song fits well with a blanket and like, one whole watermelon each, and like, one whole jug of sangria each, and some stars. Dead serious. This song makes most of my dreams come true. I love the piano. And also how he sounds like he is 65 miles away but also right next to me. To close, will someone please discuss that medallion with me? KTHANKS.

Well, a couple of years later, Glen Campbell decided this song reminded him of HIS childhood and he thought to record it himself. He gave it a good ole country spin and had a huge hit with this song. He released his version in 1977 and it went straight to the top of the charts. I totally love Glen Campbell, mostly for "Wichita Lineman." Which I LOVE. So, I think it's tight that he covered this song and really did give it his own sound. It's a slightly more danceable version, I think.

Thoughts on a favorite? I tend to lean to the Toussaint just because no one can touch him. BUT I do love Glenny because I have a secret/not-so-secret soft spot for country. Either way, you are guaranteed a happy summer evening by listening. Seacrest out.

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Tuesday, July 14, 2009


WUT UP Y'ALL. I think it's time we pay respect to the greatest musician, NAY... GENIUS of our time. I PICKED A PURPLE YOUTUBE PLAYER CUZ IT'S THE COLOR OF ROYALTY. LUV U*

*I actually really think Shaq is tight. I mean come on, he plays Wolverine and about 5 other badasses in this video.


Monday, July 13, 2009

YouTube Song of the Day #1

There are certain songs in this world that fill me with more rage than I know how to handle. One of these songs is most definitely Life Is A Highway. While the Tom Cochrane version is bad enough, the Rascal Flatts one make me want to throw broken bottles at pedestrians.

So after some heavy YouTube research, not only was I shocked to discover the amount of fan videos that use Life As A Highway, I couldn't believe how many seemed to use the song inappropriately. So here's the best of the first 10 pages of YouTube search results. And there were seriously about 50 more pages.

@douchebags who play guitars under the highway:

Video made for elementary school career day. I'm serious:

Perhaps the most inappropriate song + video usage?:

You probably all hate your lives now. If you watched more than 10 seconds of any of those videos, you most likely tore a hole in the space-time continuum. This is all slightly regrettable OKAY BYE BYE.

baby i need your loving: battle royale


This is an extra tricky song battle because I have three versions of this song. Also, I am really enjoying calling it a battle because in no way do I expect you to choose a winner/even pretend this is serious. "Baby I Need Your Loving" was a huge Motown hit for The Four Tops in 1964. Hello, it was written by Holland-Dozier-Holland who could write a tight song about me brushing my teeth. It's a classic song with a classic Motown feel. It's such a feel-good song. Who doesn't know all the words? It's one of those songs where I feel like groups of people will start singing it together and then wonder how they know every single lyric. I have included the original Four Tops version, but here are some BATTLERS.

Man. Love these guys. The Four Tops are, of course, a classic Motown quartet. TRIVIA: Did you know these guys were together for something crazy like forty years without a single line-up change? Seriously. They had a ton of hits that we all know and love in the sixties. I can get down to a Four Tops song anytime, anywhere. If you can't, I feel like you might need to CHECK YOUR PULSE. "Baby I Need Your Loving" really started it all for this group. Check the vid.

Johnny Rivers - Baby I Need Your Lovin'

Johnny Rivers is a huge personal fave. He recorded a cover version in 1967 and titled it "Baby I Need Your Lovin'". He was only released as a single but had success. I mean, how could it not? He also covered "Tracks of My Tears" during this period. Loving the Motown thing from Johnny.

The Supremes - Baby I Need Your Loving

The Supremes got in the mix with their version, recorded in 1966. It appears on their album A' Go-Go, which has a ton of crazy stuff on it. A million covers! Of course, we all know that The Supremes were a Motown girl group and pretty much the biggest ballers of the sixties, except for maybe the Beatles. I'm dead serious. These girls are like the highest selling vocal group EVER. That is ridiculous. This version features the original gals: Diana, Mary, and Florence.

SO, which one do you like the best? Personally, I can't go wrong with the O.G. Four Tops version, but I have to admit it's a nice change of pace to hear the soothing female vocals from Diana. But, I also love Johnny's crooner style. A near impossible choice, but at least nothing will disappoint you. Now, I'm off to a busy day. Sike, the only real thing I have to do today is eat lunch.

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Saturday, July 11, 2009

Speedy Like Gonzales

It's amazing what you used to be able to accomplish with a unitard and green screen.

Sunkist Vibrations

So I've had the song Love Sensation by Loleatta Holloway for a few years now, but I'm just realizing that it was sampled by the greatest band of our time, Marky Mark & The Funky Bunch. I mean, when you're coming up with a band name, anything that contains the phrase "Funky Bunch" definitely has staying power.

For any of you who actually want Loleatta Holloway's song, here you go. It's pretty baller and deserves to be revisited.

I'm sure you guys aren't aware that Marky Mark is the poet of our generation:

Vibrations good like Sunkist
Many wanna know who done this
Marky Mark and I'm here to move you
Rhymes will groove you

Get funky in 2k9 y'all.

Thursday, July 9, 2009

How to Fail at YouTube

So I was researching Marky Mark & The Funky Bunch for a new post, when I came across something pretty frustrating. Judging from the title of this video, I was definitely expecting to get my Mark Wahlberg on, but PLOT SPOILER I didn't. The result is kinda tight though.

What A Man

True statements regarding Linda Lyndell:

1. Best name in the biz.
2. There is no woman in the world who could compete with that bouffant.

The video for En Vogue's version shows that rare moment when R & B met with grunge fashion. Girls grinding all over the place in men's flannel shirts HOLLA/MISS U

You are NOT the father

It's time for another installment of "You are NOT the father" reactions on Maury. The first two are American classics. The third video is truly shocking because apparently, Sarabi has been cheating on Mufasa. IT DON'T TAKE BLOOD TO BE A FATHER Y'ALL.

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Don't Hurt 'Em

"Aint gonna hurt nobody / We're just dancin' y'all"

Probably one of the best lyrics ever.

I knew Kid N' Play's version was a cover, but I had no clue Brick was responsible for the original. Don't they look like total ballers? Plus, the bass player in Brick is named Ray Ransom, which is really tight.

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

tiny yong

Lately, I have been really obsessed with watching Scopitone videos. The Scopitone was like a jukebox with videos played on a little screen. It was definitely the beginning of the music video that came to be. They are super tight, though, because they almost always feature some kind of crazy go-go dancers. Usually, these dancers are not on the beat at all and continue moving even during a super serious song. Tight!

Anyway, during a watching spree the other day, I totally came across a lady that I have come to love. Her name is Tiny Yong. Apparently, she is Vietnamese but was born in Cambodia. Her family moved to France as the Vietnam war got ugly in that area. Fortch, she was already fluent in French and like, ten other languages. Huge baller. She started singing in cabarets and performed mostly "girl group" hits around France. She became a semi-successful French television star, and she started making Scopitone videos.

How cute is this lady? I just love her little voice. Translation would be tight if anyone can do it. She has some other videos floating out there but I just love this one. It's ridiculous. That buffoon with the flower! Also, was this filmed in a meat locker? Her breath freaks me out.

She only recorded 32 songs between 1961 and 1965. How crazy? I can't find out if she's still alive, but I hope she is because I want to meet her and hug on her. She also has a Myspace. INTO THAT.

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Monday, July 6, 2009


I really don't know what to say about this. Basically, this cat was involved in an accident and lost mobility in his hind legs. If that happened in my family, that cat would've been Old Yellered in .05 seconds. But not this guy.

I think this video is also evidence that true love exists. The wife still seems to be attracted to her husband, even after he built a cat robot box in their garage.

By the way, that cat doesn't give an f.

This message approved by Old Yeller:

#1 Summer Food

I believe this is an Is This Tight? first: A delicious food recommendation. Never would I have thought to combine these three delicious ingredients, but the result is a taste explosion IN YOUR MOUTH.

Watermelon. Feta. Mint. Give it a try and you won't regret it. After you eat a giant bowlful, go swimming and then watch The Lion King. And then maybe write a letter to your congressman about the need for Space Jam 2. Make this the summer when dreams come true.

pug with stroller

Nope, not sick of this yet. A pug pushing a stroller that contains two pug dolls. You're welcome, America. This is a reason I am glad to be alive. I love the music, I love the shots of her contemplating by the water, and if you read this joke of a blog regularly you know I have a giant love for dogs walking on their hind legs. This is going on reserve in the "bad day" file for when I really need something.

ain't no sunshine: battle royale

Two artists. One amazing song. An EPIC battle. PART THREE.

In 1971, Bill Withers released his album Just As I Am. This album has it all. You need to own this if you don't already. I mean, are we kidding with a cover of "Let It Be?" I'm dying inside. Also, "Grandma's Hands?" Oh boy. Also featured on this album are Stephen Stills and Booker T. Jones. So it must suck! KIDDING. Anyway, Bill likes to lean on brick walls and hold his lunchbox and smile at all the passersby that know he is a total baller. I'll get to the point in a second. Give me time.

On this album, there are many great songs but one song that is truly spectacular. I'm talking about a little ditty called "Ain't No Sunshine." It's been sampled and covered a bajillion times and it's beautiful. I love the "IKNOWIKNOWIKNOW" part because I can truly belt that out and feel like I'm really singing with Bill.

Please watch Bill in this video and if you tell me you haven't fallen in love with him in the first thirty seconds, we can't be friends. Hello, orange turtleneck!

Bill Withers - Ain't No Sunshine

So I totally love the Bill Withers original version, but then there is another version floating out there in the universe that also warms my heart. It's be a little known singer named Michael Jackson. He's semi-famous so you may not know him.

Michael was such a cutie-pie at this age and this is probably my favorite MJ era. I love him on that album cover. So presh. He recorded this album in 1972 when he was about 14. It was his solo debut album and a milestone in my life, as well. I simply cannot handle his sweet voice on this song. It sounds so wonderful. I want it to be raining outside while I watch Rudy and cry.

Michael Jackson - Ain't No Sunshine

I'm not really asking you to choose between these songs right now, because that would be cruel and awful of me. Listen to both at the same time if you want! Basically, I just want you to have both and know both, because both are awesome and tight. Both both both. Do this for me!

Read the other two Battle Royales here and here!

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Thursday, July 2, 2009

Cat Bath Mode

There is nothing in the world that could keep me from watching this on repeat.