Monday, July 27, 2009

The Big Aristotle

The steady stream of Shaq chatter inspired me to pull out my VHS copy of Shaq Attaq: In Your Face On and Off the Court.



According to one ebayer it is currently out of print, which if true the folks over at Criterion should think about re-issuing this badboy. This mid-90's gem chronicles Shaq eating huge shrimp po-boys, dunking on people, wearing Cross Colours jump suits, and most importantly his time spent with Fu-Schnikins laying down intricate rhymes.

excerpt from Fu-Schnickens - What's Up Doc (Can We Rock) Feat. Shaquille O'Neal
[Shaq]
I'm the hooper, the hyper
Protected by Viper
When I rock the hoop yo, you'd better decipher
In other words you'd better make a funky decision (whoo)
'cause I'm a be a Shaq knife, and cut you with precision
Forget Tony Danza, I'm the boss
When it comes to money, I'm like Dick Butkas
Now who's the first pick? me, word is born and
Not a Christean Laettner, not Alonzo Mourning
That's okay, not being braggadocios
Supercalifragelistic, Shaq is alidocious
Peace, I gotta go, I ain't no joke
Now I slam it (what?) jam it (unh)
And make sure it's broke

Here, in Shaq Attaq: In Your Face On and Off the Court, Shaq meets up with the Fu after a basketball game and heads directly to the studio. Magic ensues.



Props to the bass player.

2 comments:

Chappell said...

the line about Tony Danza really seals the deal.

anna said...

this is my favorite post. SHAQ KNIFE. i'm dying inside.