free credit report.com guy

One of the greatest pleasures in my life is watching television with my feet up and a glass of my "Mama's medicine" in my hand. Look, don't judge me. However, sometimes I'm right in the middle of the best Mary Tyler Moore episode and this damn guy comes on my screen.

Doesn't he just look suspicious? He's hiding something behind that car door, and I don't want to know what it is. Well, there's good news and bad news. The good news is he's just an actor. WHEW. The bad news is he's in a commercial for FreeCreditReport.com (we all know the jingle) and he's on television every five seconds. I'm glad this guy is making some dough, but I'm tired of his antics. He stars in various versions of his bad credit report nightmare, from driving in his crappy car with his friends stuffed in it clown-style or working in a pirate-themed restaurant. LOL. I do kind of like it when he sings about serving iced tea to those old geezers. The same two dudes are always playing with him. They need to get a gig at Hole in the Wall or sumthin! I'm upset with these commercials but also slightly obsessed with them. I'm impressed how they can fit all the information in these tiny, short songs. Who writes these? Their commercials have always annoyed me, though. Who remembers the original ones with that guy that was all,"I'm thiiiiiinking of a number." Loser.

I get real super pissed when these jingles get stuck in my head for two weeks and I start singing them when doing laundry. Then all the animals join me and I'm like Cinderelly! Sike. Also sucky, it turns out Free Credit Report ain't that free, and they charge you like $15 a month to use their services. Watch the three latest ones and see what you think. And yes, I realize this is just helping to promote them by posting their commercials, but I want you to suffer like I already have.