Cheeta the chimpanzee is a special dude. He is a Hollywood legend. He appeared in the first Tarzan movie ever in 1932 and has been in twelve total. I said goddamn! Cheeta made a bit of a splash recently because his handlers were fighting to get him a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. Well, I was reading about this baller the other day and it turns out he should feel happy even if he didn't get a star.
He just signed a record deal.
Supposedly, he plays piano but who knows. I'm so confused. There are so many issues here. First of all, how will he make a record? If I want to listen to a series of grunts, I'll lean against the men's bathroom door after Taco Night at Hole in the Wall, knowwuti'msayin? I'm a little pissed about this. But also somewhat hopeful. If Cheeta the chimp can get a record deal, maybe I can someday. Dreams can come true! Secondly, I'm sure Cheeta is really tight and everything, but he's a little old to be a rock star. Bitch is 76! He's going gray and probably has constipation issues. I mean, homeboy can't get the ladies anymore. Just sayin'. So, good luck, Cheeta. If you ever need a Tawny Kitaen look-alike for your music vid, give me a holla holla. Also, look out in October, because Cheeta is getting a ghost writer to help him write an autobiography. And if by help him, that means write the whole thing entirely for him because he's a CHIMP.
Here's Cheeta watching TV like the old fart he is.
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2 comments:
the last act that clinton helped pass was a chimp act. as a result chimps now have retirement home type centers in florida.
http://www.saplonline.org/Articles/Congressoksplan.htm
was he in the barefoot executive starring kurt russell?
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