movies i will drop anything to watch #1: Never Been Kissed

I f-ing love this movie. I saw it in theaters when I was 14 and I cried my eyes out. Probably because it gave me false hope because when I was 14 I had severe fashion and eyewear choice issues. Drew Barrymore as Josie Grossie is one of my favorite characters ever. She lives a super sad existence as the tormented high school teen who has oily skin and a book nerd problem. She also definitely gets tricked into going to her senior prom with the most popular dude in school, who proceeds to throw an egg at her face. She then hides from her mom in the bushes out of shame. And no, I'm not looking on wikipedia.org for this information right now. This is from pure memory.

So then she goes back to high school as an adult to write for this newspaper in Chicago to do an "undercover" report about what the teens are doing these days. Also, this is a dumb assignment/storyline and John C. Reilly knows it. She has to undergo a "high school" makeover to fit in with the mean girls. So of course she goes blonde!!!11!! My only beef with her makeover is that horrible Wet n Wild lip gloss she slathers on. I mean, I know she was a nerd and junk but even her brother ROB should've known that that was a bad look.

Oh, boy. So of course at the high school she meets Mr. Coulson, who has a girlfriend and an appetite for literature loving teens. At the time I thought this guy was such a badass but now I realize how this character is actually incredibly creepy. First of all, Josie is supposed to be sixteen. And he falls for her. And the lip gloss. So not cool. But, he is cute, and he loves books and life and painting walls with teens. Oh yeah, and opening up to his high school English students about his failed relationship while on a Ferris wheel. Super tight! She also gets to be popular for a while.

I couldn't find the picture I wanted of Josie in her new prom dress. But she finally gets to go with the new most popular guy in school, GUY, a creepy guitar player who likes to crunch on girls. Long story long, Josie's undercover assignment goes bust when she realizes she really does love Mr. Coulson and will have to 'fess up. She wants to tell him so badly, especially when he awkwardly dances with her (keep in mind, he still thinks she's 16.) Josie fesses up to the crowd that she's in fact 25 YEARS OLD and everyone has their Academy Award moment of shock. Josie leaves the prom/school in a fog of shame but knows she must make it right.

She writes her undercover assignment article but also confesses her love for Mr. Coulson and is pretty much straight up about her lies and filthy schemes within the school. She pledges to stand on the pitcher's mound for the high school baseball team's game and wait for Mr. Coulson to come give her her first real kiss. HELLO! The excitement builds. How can you not root for Josie, who now looks really pretty in a pink dress from Arizona Clothing Company (see above). This was the blonde hair I was shooting for at the beginning of the movie. Too bad. The clock ticks down and of course, he's not there. The crowd looks tense.

Finally, he shows. Of course I got a pit in my stomach at the time because I was on a personal level with Josie at this point, and I was pretty sure she didn't know how to use tongue. He kisses her, and they say some sweet nothings to each other and then everyone in the stands starts making out, which I still don't understand to this day. All in all, a great movie that helped me realize my life long dream of marrying my high school English teacher and pretending to be 16. I'm close to age 25 so I might have my own version of Never Been Kissed to share in another year or so.