peppermint harris

Peppermint Harris has one of the best names in the biz. He was born in Texarkana (!!!) and recorded his #1 hit song "I Got Loaded" in 1951 in Los Angeles.

I am sharing a song with you today, "Have Another Drink and Talk to Me," that I really enjoy that Pep (we have little nicknames for each other) recorded in 1952. I first discovered Peppie the other day when I was diggin' and found a 45 by the man. I really love him. Also, the title of this song is pretty much my philosophy when it comes to dating.

something old i like #8: troll dolls

Look at those little turds. The dolls featured in that picture were everything to me in the early 1990s. I'm serious. I had a million Troll dolls. All kinds, too. I think at one point I even had a Dallas Cowboys one. My poor mother.

The thing about these little guys is that they were supposed to bring you "good luck." Well, all they brought me was scornful looks anytime someone entered my bedroom and a lifetime of regret. As I recall, they were not cheap. But that potbelly and colorful head of hair is like crack to me. Apparently, even Koko the gorilla can't fight the feeling.

I'm ragging on them hard right now, but I really do like these toys. They offer nothing but somehow were one of the biggest fads of my childhood. Like, at least you could style a Barbie. I could include a My Little Pony in some kind of role-play scenario. Fisher Price food was really good for my fake grocery store and restaurant. Look, I had a lot of alone time. What do Trolls do for us? They stare at you in the night. BUT I LOVE IT. I also need to let you know that at one point I have watched a VHS with singing trolls. I think one sang "Do Wa Ditty."

The point of this post (I swear there is one) is that Trolls made me happy when I was a kid with huge glasses. Before I knew of the coldness of life, I let a little plastic freak with orange hair and hollow eyes that looks too much like an Olsen twin (too mean?) bring me joy. Wish I could go there again. Now it takes tacos, two Advil, and a glass of medicine.

something old i like #7: cher

Now, I don't mean to criticize Cher with my above title. Homegirl is 62 years young, after all! But the Cher I love is from the past. I mean, as most of you know, I definitely just saw Cher in a live Las Vegas show that was over the top ridic, but I have a soft spot for sixties and seventies Cher. So here are some of the things I love about Cher, who has inspired a million drag queen outfits.

1. Her Hair

No one has better hair than Cher. These days Paris Hilton has her nasty Fraggle extensions, but back in the day, Cher was holding it down for all natural, straight, parted-in-the-middle hair. I bet girls all over America tried to lay their heads on ironing boards to get this look. I'm obsessed with seventies Cher hair! Although it must have been really super hot. I was Cher for Halloween in 2003 and I definitely had a nasty black wig that I sat on numerous times. That was so tight.

2. Her Ever-Changing Yet Preserved Face

Cher is a plastic surgery freak, but I respect her for it, for some reason. I mean, she has a hot mess look, but she has managed to tweak her face slowly and over time. She looks completely different than she did when she first arrived on the scene, and most definitely has a wax face these days, but she's CHER. So who cares? The eyelid area bothers me a bit though.

3. The Time She Wore That

4. Mermaids

Oh, I'm sorry, you haven't seen the great American classic cinema slice that is Mermaids? Get off your ass and do it now. This movie sucks but it also so special to me. Cher and Bob Hoskins dating is about the best thing that can happen. Baby Christina Ricci scares with her eyes that bore into my soul. Worth it for Cher.

5. Cher and Sonny singing "It's the Little Things"

This clip was shown in its entirety on a giant IMAX screen at the Vegas show, which was a bit frustrating. But it's a pretty tight clip. I actually enjoy most Sonny and Cher songs.

something old i like #6: calvin and hobbes

Now, I realize Calvin and Hobbes isn't THAT old, but it did start in 1985, which means it's been around for a while and I love it. I have a couple of Calvin and Hobbes anthologies that I used to pore over as a kid and I have no shame about it. I used to pretend that all my stuffed animals were alive only to me. Nerd alert! If you aren't familiar with Calvin and Hobbes, then shame on you. Kidding! It's a comic strip created by the baller Bill Watterson. Calvin is a little turd, a nutcase kid who loves to track dirt on the carpet. Hobbes is his stuffed tiger toy, however, he appears real only to Calvin. They have conversations and play games and perform drug deals together. No, but still, they have a lot of fun. My favorite character is Miss Wormwood, Calvin's teacher. What a slut! Later in life, I realized she was probably a huge alcoholic and more than likely hated her job, but at the time I didn't know.

One of the things I always liked about C&H was that it never got too heavy for me to read. I didn't feel like I was dealing with office life/depression as in Dilbert and I didn't have to get too highly confused/agitated like with Doonesbury. Sometimes Calvin and Hobbes tried to make a point, but never threw it my face. I appreciate that. You might think there a million comics better than C&H, and that's ok. There is nothing as fun as being a kid and opening the Sunday paper and reading the big color comics. I loved seeing what Calvin and Hobbes would be up to that day.

Click above for an enlarged image of the last Calvin and Hobbes comic strip ever. Get the tissues ready.

something old i like #5: the 1970s

Let it be known that I love the 70s. I know, I wasn't born yet. But I came along shortly thereafter. I have referenced this decade many times already in previous posts (read: Match Game). I really have a fondness for the mid to late 60s, too, but the years 1970-1979 are just way too tight to pass up. First of all, every 70s fashion needs to come back. I'm serious. Also we need discos again. Why did these stop? I don't need the excessive cocaine use to come back, but the discos are missed. I want Cher from 1972 back. I mean, I still love Cher, but you know. Here are some things that really need to make a comeback:

1. The Afro

You still see an Afro from time to time, but definitely not as often as you prob would've in 1974. I'm pissed that I can't grow one and I mean that truly. In fact, I say it quite often. I have always wanted to come back in another life as Erykah Badu because I'm jealous of her. The Afro is so amazing. Although I really hate fake Afro wigs for Halloween. I'm talking about the real deal here.

2. Bean Bag Chairs

I know when we were all around 12 or 13 we would've murdered for a bean bag. Well, I still would. I have one in my classroom and it's a huge hit. These days, I feel like bean bags are getting harder and harder to find. Granted, they kill my back and probably cause the early stages of scoliosis but I still want five multi-colored ones in my living room instead of a couch.

3. Lava Lamps

Um, hell yeah. Who doesn't love a good lava lamp? It sets the ambience for any room. Want to get dark and moody? Turn on the l. lamp. Want to turn on the sexy? Well, turn on the LAVA LAMP!! I have a purple one because I wanted one in my middle school colors at the time I purchased it (Scottie Pride forever). Again, another item that is getting harder to find but really enhances any room.

4. Mood Rings

Question: Why did Mood Rings fade out? The other day, a student in my class was wearing one and she knew what all the colors represented and I thought to myself: The children really are our future. Mood rings are so tight, even if they stay one blue shade all the time. One time I had one that really did turn black when I was really angry. Although I was around 14 at the time so I was probably mad because my hair went flat. Who cares if these things really work? The point is, they look baller. And instantly turn any guy into a perv.

5. Waterbeds

I know it's hard to see in that photo, but oh yeah baby, that's a waterbed. In fact, that is the beatuy of a waterbed. It looks like a regular bed, so you start feeling drowsy and climb on for a short snooze. SIKE! It's a rolly and tumbly waterbed and yet another reason to f up your back. My brother had a waterbed when he was in high school and I wonder what the effects are on his back these days. I just remember wanting one really bad, but I couldn't have one. Now I know why. Although they look so tight and swish around like the wave pool at Schlitterbahn, which makes me think of summer, and therefore is tight. Talk about the true stamp of a swinger.

I know you can still get a lot of this crap online, but I just want to complain about something. Long live the 70s!

something old i like #4: animated rudolph

I love that old Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer special from the 60s. The animation is out of this world, and the characters are intense. This was the very first DVD I ever owned, thanks to my dad. Literally. I got a DVD player and had no DVDs, and my dad came through. I love this show. Of course, it comes on every year at Christmas, and I'm obsessed with Christmas (can I get a witness, Casey?) but I still say, WHY WAIT. Sometimes I pull out the Rudolph DVD and (wait for it) play it on my computer. I'M A REBEL. But seriously, it's just that good.

Rudolph is born to one of Santa's current studs of the sky and has a bright red nose. RUH ROH. So he runs away because no one will let him join in any reindeer games. Also, Christmas is going pretty badly in the North Pole and Santa Claus is on the Nicole Richie diet. Rudy feels like maybe he won't be able to help St. Nick anyway. When he runs away, he meets Hermey, the elf who desires to be a dentist because he sucks at making toys. As a kid, I thought this guy was baller, but he has a pretty freaky mouth.

Rudy and Hermey band together and along the way, meet Yukon Cornelius, who is one of the biggest ballers ever created. This guy. When he throws his ice pick and then licks it, and says, "...Nothing." Well, that is just the epitome of greatness. Yukon is chasing the Abominable Snowman, who turns out to be kind of a softie in the end.

The crew tries to 23-skidoo to the Island of Misfit Toys, aka the Island of Everything I Wanted To Play With At Age 9. Rudy takes pity on the plethora of badass toys, mostly because he understands their plight of feeling different. I'm really spelling this out for you, huh? He swears he will get Santa to help them and deliver them to needy bastards.

Well, Rudy makes it back to the North Pole, but g.d. it Santa's sleigh is totally fogged in. Rudy starts to feel dejected and has just lifted the bottle of Johnnie Walker to his lips when lo and behold Santa notices Rudy's awesome nose and decides to give him a whirl. Rudy saves the day, the toys are delivered and are happy, and the Bumble ends up hanging out with Yukon and a paper towel full of Kettle Chips (the paper towel is folded into a funnel by Sissy Emmons). And it's a Merry Christmas for all!

The whole story is narrated by the tightest snowman who ever roamed, Sam, played by Burl Ives. Sam actually looks like Burl Ives, which is crazy/tight. I have put some pics for comparison. Also, who can rock a pocket watch like Sam the Snowman?

In the end, Rudy just wants to be loved, and so does Hermey and the Snowman and even Yukon, although methinks he is somewhat asexual. I love this show and I want you all to watch it with me next Christmas. I will make hot cocoa and we will fly to NYC to visit Chaps and cry together at the Rockefeller tree. This could go on and on and it's time for my bath. However, please watch this video compilash of some amazing Yukon footage.

something old i like #3: mary tyler moore intro

I love this show. It makes me want to cry every single time I see this intro. These days, a television sitcom intro is so much shorter, but this basically tells the story of Mary and I love that. This is such a great show and go to hulu.com immediately to watch some full episodes. I promise it won't let you down. Is this tight?

something old i like #1: Gilligan's Island

I got a Columbia House order going on VHS seasons of Gilligan's Island when I was younger. This is no joke. I love this show. It was only on the air for about three seasons, I believe. However, numerous spin-offs and reunion-style TV movies have followed. A tour boat gets stranded on an island and the rest is history. Also, the crew and sight-seers try to get off the island approximately 967 times, but they are never successful. (That's a rough estimate.)

Perfectly coiffed, even on an island. Did they have the Chi back then?

I must say, I thought Ginger was the most beautiful woman in the world. She was a movie star off the island and a hottie. She always wore that same gold dress and I wanted it so badly. I remember begging my mom to help me find one that was similar for Homecoming in eighth grade. Which brings up why middle schools have Homecomings. The thing is, I could never find that dress though because at the time I shopped exclusively at Mervyn's California. Ginger was so tight.

There's the dress. And my jealousy. See what I mean about the shorts?

Just bein' me.

I also thought that Mary Ann could suck it! She was always making f-ing coconut cream pies and coconut shakes and coconut bread and coconut steak and g.d. it Mary Ann STOP WITH THE COCONUT ALREADY. Bottom line is this, coconut is only semi-ok on ice cream sundaes and some variations of really good Italian cream cake. It must taste terrible on anything else. Also homegirl needed to hike up her ridic short shorts. But I digress.

Huge ballers.

The Howells were the epitome of perfection. The constant battle between Harvard and Yale was Mr. Thurston's Howell trademark and a source for much of my guffawing around age ten. I didn't even truly understand at the time that those were important schools, much less schools I would never attend, but no matter. It was still funny. Lovey Howell taught me a lot about beauty, aka always wear a hat in the sun, bitch at everyone around you to get what you want, and refuse to do certain things (like leave the island when it appears obvi you can get off - OH TOO LATE THE BOAT HAS A HOLE.) Basically, these two would never have made it on the island, but I treasure every second they bitched about it.

Get those guys some Lone Star.

I loved the Skipper and Gilligan though. What a classic comedy duo. I remember when my dad told me that Gilligan's real first name was Willy (although now I realize I have no idea where he got this information) and I was stunned. Almost to the point of speechless. It was like that time I found out that Beck was a Scientologist. I'm pissed I even have to capitalize that. I loved when the Skipper would get PISSED at Gilligan about something and somehow Gilly always got out of it because of his bumbling charm and grace. If only we could all get through life like that. Willy Gilligan, I salute you.

Teach me, teacher. Too much?

And the Professor. Maybe Lesley can clear this up, but I don't really remember where he taught or if that was ever mentioned. Perhaps he actually taught third grade science because was he actually a Phd? We might never know. But I do know that I had some naughty daydreams about that character. DON'T JUDGE ME. I'm a sucker for a dude baring his forearms. He was in love with Ginger and their unrequited love still haunts me. What I still fail to understand, even after all these years, is how the Professor couldn't get his damn act together and make some new recipes to share with Mary Ann. I mean, wasn't he smart and junk?

If anyone would like to be serious for a minute, I would love to get together a Gilligan's Island Halloween group. I know we keep saying we are going as Match Game characters, but who else knows that Sean Lopano needs to fly back from NY and be Gilligan?

A few years ago, my dad saw my passion and upgraded my VHS tapes to DVD. So now I have the first couple of seasons, including the questionable episode where a Japanese WWII solider suddenly appears on the island. Once again, I'll bring the Kettle Chips and come watch some fine television with me.