my own failblog

I could seriously start my own fail blog with some of the junk I see. This is from my recent journey to New York. Someone please tell me how hard it really is to just create a new sign?

made in china

I'm all about buying generic or even off-brand bad, but dang! Some of these items are just pure rip-offs. These are actual items that are sold on the streets in China. Of course, some of these are meant to resemble other products. Some are also made of pure fail. We have eyeballs, China! I can tell that you changed one of the letters in the product name.

Oh well, at least I can get some laughs out of it. Narrowly escaping copyright laws is so tight! And I'll know what I'm getting into when I pick up a bottle of Ozarga water in China.

This cracks me up because I'm the anxious, paranoid person in the store that can't wait to leave because of the all the crying children I could potentially take out with my basket because they are in my way. LONG SENTENCE ALERT. In that stressful sitch, I would be the one to just grab the blue and white bottle off the shelf thinking it was Head and Shoulders. Shock of the century when you get home! Tight name, though.

Kentucky Long Grand? Kentucky Lightning Goober? Kentucky Loves Grandmas? I could go on all day. Um, second of all, what the f is wrong with that chicken? It's like a chicken and Colonel Sanders had too much medicine and did the monkey dance. He also knows how suspicious that restaurant name is. I can see it in his eyes. Also, on closer inspection, they may have gotten closer and that might actually read KLC. But I want to believe it's KLG so give me that.

So much fail in this picture. I mean, this isn't even really close but my eye kind of thought it was at first. Sneaky rip-off Adidas bag makers! I actually LOLed looking at this picture because it's so ridiculous. I would kill to see some muscle man strutting to the gym while carrying this. How tight?

I can just see the meeting in the conference room in China. "What letter closely resembles K that we can replace on this label?" "How about R?" "Great, no one will notice!" FAIL. Although R and K might be alphabet cousins, this does nothing to persuade me I need to buy this. But I did get a huge chortle out of it. There's even a website!

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something that will never make sense to me

I'm going to piggyback on Chappell's post about driving with headphones. There are a lot of things that confuse me, like why Kettle Chips aren't sold at every single store within a walking distance of me. However, one thing that really befuddles me is when I see people wearing sweaters, sweatshirts, or JEANS when it is literally 100 degrees outside. We live in Texas. HELLO! Sweatshirts are not going to cut it for me. Also frustrating is when people wear tube tops or sundresses in the winter. I mean, it doesn't get super cold here, but we do have chilly day sometimes. Just please take a look at yourself in the mirror before you leave the house. I get pissed about this. I mean, how uncomfortable are those people? I can see it in their scared eyes. Jesus H.

storing the chrysler building

Amy Winehouse is nuts, but I have to comment on her baller hairstyle here. It is truly a private, lifelong dream of mine to have a Marge Simpson hairdo. Amy is doing it currently. The thing I wonder is how does she hold her head up? It looks heavy. But you would always have a place to store your sour gummi worms (my favorite candy, btw).

underwater restaurant

Is this tight? An underwater restaurant seems like a tight idea. It also seems like something I would have doodled on my desk in fourth grade. Which basically means something I never thought would really happen. I wouldn't be able to eat a bite of my dinner because I would be hyperventilating the whole time. Something just seems FISHY with this place. I really need to know how the diners get in and out. I also want to see the menu and wine list, because I bet it would be something scoff-worthy.

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