free credit report.com guy

One of the greatest pleasures in my life is watching television with my feet up and a glass of my "Mama's medicine" in my hand. Look, don't judge me. However, sometimes I'm right in the middle of the best Mary Tyler Moore episode and this damn guy comes on my screen.

Doesn't he just look suspicious? He's hiding something behind that car door, and I don't want to know what it is. Well, there's good news and bad news. The good news is he's just an actor. WHEW. The bad news is he's in a commercial for FreeCreditReport.com (we all know the jingle) and he's on television every five seconds. I'm glad this guy is making some dough, but I'm tired of his antics. He stars in various versions of his bad credit report nightmare, from driving in his crappy car with his friends stuffed in it clown-style or working in a pirate-themed restaurant. LOL. I do kind of like it when he sings about serving iced tea to those old geezers. The same two dudes are always playing with him. They need to get a gig at Hole in the Wall or sumthin! I'm upset with these commercials but also slightly obsessed with them. I'm impressed how they can fit all the information in these tiny, short songs. Who writes these? Their commercials have always annoyed me, though. Who remembers the original ones with that guy that was all,"I'm thiiiiiinking of a number." Loser.

I get real super pissed when these jingles get stuck in my head for two weeks and I start singing them when doing laundry. Then all the animals join me and I'm like Cinderelly! Sike. Also sucky, it turns out Free Credit Report ain't that free, and they charge you like $15 a month to use their services. Watch the three latest ones and see what you think. And yes, I realize this is just helping to promote them by posting their commercials, but I want you to suffer like I already have.

daily LOLcat hilarity

tight person of the day: elton john (honky chateau era)

Elton John put out an album in 1972 called Honky Chateau. This album is so special to me for some reason. Also Elton is ready to cut a bitch in that photo. Elton and his writing partner Bernie Taupin truly outdid themselves on this one. A few of these songs on here are my "stop light songs." This means they are the perfect songs to listen to when the stop lights are blinking red, you are coming home from Sugar's (sike), and it's 3 am. One song in particular, "Mona Lisas and Mad Hatters," is a stop light song but also a crying song BIG TIME. This is the album that also features "Rocket Man" which I know every dude has sung in the shower at some point, don't lie. So I picked two songs from this album that I really love. Of course, "Mona Lisas." But also another song, called "Salvation." When it first starts, it appears cheesy but it just builds and I want to put on a choir robe and stand on my balcony and sing to the streets. Maybe someday I really will do that, and we will have a whole new post. Salvation keeps the hungry children fed! Thanks, Bernie and Elton.

Elton John - Mona Lisas and Mad Hatters

Elton John - Salvation

Also, a huge Is This Tight? shout-out to Ryan Griffin, who is a loyal reader and whose warm and welcoming high-five will never be forgotten.

tight image of the day

daily LOLcat hilarity

Crank Dat _______

One of my favorite things of all time is to search YouTube for the best video edits of Soulja Boy's Crank Dat.

My pick of the day:

For Your Consideration

The aerobics scene in Perfect.



By minute 1:15, it gets a little ghey. By 2:00, I can barely watch it.

BONUS: Jermaine Jackson's hit single for this gem of a film.

breaking news: obama too skinny?

So I was reading all the crap I read on my Google Reader and I stumbled across this article. Basically, some Americans think Barack Obama is too skinny to become the next prez. Hello! Not since the days of Abraham Lincoln's beard has a candidate caused this much indecision in the country. What's next? Being pissed that Obama likes strawberry toaster strudel and not the blueberry kind? I don't know about you, but I didn't think physical appearance and weight was an issue for me. But then I started thinking. I mean, I want to talk about Hillary's pantsuits and that McCain is pretty much a brontosaurus. But does this matter when it comes down to it? If I found out McCain shopped at H&M, that might sway me. Maybe unconsciously, this stuff really does matter. You want to think it doesn't, but then it slowly creeps in.

This all started when Obama didn't eat ice cream at some diner while his kids and wife hoovered some. Listen, so what? Maybe he didn't want any. The best part of the article, which definitely thoroughly analyzes food faux pas, is the section about Gerald Ford biting into a tamale that still had the corn husk on. He was probably trying to look all country boy while he was on a visit to Texas. Lame. The point is, he lost that election to Jimmy Carter for his tamale ignorance. Do I agree with that? Kinda. But mainly because it's a tamale and Ford was a dumbass. So. Basically, I'm torn. Now I can't decide if I really do care about this stuff, or if it really wouldn't make a difference to me in the long run. Bottom line: I like to look into what the candidates are standing for and saying and thinking, but I guess the day a dude in TOMS and a New York Mets 1983 shirt from Thrift Land (real place) who can grow substantial facial hair and likes soul records and turkey burgers and dark chocolate comes along, well, I know who my next prez will be. (Or a lady who openly admits she shops at Forever 21 - it could happen, people.)

daily LOLcat hilarity

LOL Moment of the Day

I was just pulled over in Texarkana for going 40 in a 30.

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I got a warning. Thanks, badass ladycop.

tight people of the day: buffalo springfield

I'm really drawn to the songwriting skills of Neil Young and Stephen Stills. So they are both in this band and that's pretty tight. Everyone knows Neil Young, like, duh, but Stephen Stills had some pretty delish songs. I can't say every single one is my favorite, but homeboy knew how to write. Buffalo Springfield didn't stay together too long, but long enough to produce some music that I still like to listen to on a nice sunsetty evening. "I Am A Child" was one of the first songs I learned on the autoharp. I LIKE A CHALLENGE. Actually, it's super easy and basic but a monkey can play the autoharp so I don't know why I'm bragging.

Anyway, I like the softer side of Buffalo Springfield, so I hope you enjoy these songs. Also, for a tasty tidbit, Jim Messina was also in Buff Spring, later to be known as the co-king of soft rock with Kenny Loggins. YES, that Messina. Tight.

Buffalo Springfield - I Am A Child

Buffalo Springfield - Kind Woman

back in action

I know everyone has missed this blog INTENSELY. And if you haven't, please lie to my face. So, the move is over and things are great. I have a pretty giant room and an amazing little balcony and some Christmas lights to really go nuts with. Look out, South Austin. Sorry for the lack of posting, but now I have my internetz back so I'll be blogging away.